There Will Be No Frigging Tootsie Rolls!
I bought Trick-or-Treat candy today. Since I'm such a big kid at heart, everything had to be approved by me first. I dumped it all out on the table and picked out the candy that I hated getting every Halloween. Most of the stuff I picked out is the kind of candy every kid is going to get TONS of anyway. Maybe that's why I hated it so much. The list of "banned" candy includes the following:
Tootsie rolls - They're GARBAGE, and they're cheap. How could you be so cruel to a kid? 50% of my haul every year were these non-descript cocoa and corn syrup lumps. Those "Flavor Rolls" are pretty good, though.
Anything banana flavored - Why do we insist on calling bananas fruit? They're styromfoam. Add sugar and they taste like sugary styrofoam.
Smarties - Are these supposed to taste like anything? Really??? They're another 25% of the average kid's collection. SweetTarts come in the same packaging now, and they taste much better.
Tootsie rolls - They're GARBAGE, and they're cheap. How could you be so cruel to a kid? 50% of my haul every year were these non-descript cocoa and corn syrup lumps. Those "Flavor Rolls" are pretty good, though.
Anything banana flavored - Why do we insist on calling bananas fruit? They're styromfoam. Add sugar and they taste like sugary styrofoam.
Smarties - Are these supposed to taste like anything? Really??? They're another 25% of the average kid's collection. SweetTarts come in the same packaging now, and they taste much better.
Gum - Chewing gum takes up valuable candy scarfing time. I'm only mixing in a few pieces of bubble gum.
Plain Caramels and chocolates - You cheap bastard! If it doesn't say "Wonka" on the side, you've got no sense of pride.
I never much cared for candy bars either (everyone gives out Snickers), so I'm going to give kids a choice.
12 Amendments:
I see you are par-taking in the West Allis Parade fashion, "strangers handing out candy to kids". From the Candy expert at my house, we bought multi package candy and Dan, too, spreaded everything out on the kitchen counter. He did it a little different; Multi colored suckers, Dan's favorite, those are now hiding in the closest for Dan's sugur splurges. Tooties Rolls those little chocolate delights are next to the suckers, and of course jaw breakers, all orange red and yellow are in the closet.
The little critters that come to the door will enjoy Dan's rejects: sweettarts, smarties, icky bubble gum, and green and blue jaw breakers, you know how kids love to eat funny colors and stick there tounges out. Yeah, can't wait for Sunday.
You could always do what I do, skip the candy, tie the dog out in the front yard (he's a big dawg), close the windows and watch the Packer Game pretending that I'm not at home.
I know, I'm a party pooper :P
"strangers handing out candy to kids"
I think I may know someone who's on record as being opposed to that...
Tell Dan that he needs to grow up. Those poor kids on your block...
I know, I'm a party pooper
I'm going to come ring your doorbell, jerk!
Great Program Aaron.
While we are on the subject...
My job is to hand out the candy.
You kids over the age of say 17..
listen up.
Now I'm 5'10", and If I gotta look up to you to hand out the candy, you're gettin a friggin toootsie roll.
Ok, so at my house I let the teenagers pick out the candy to be given away (They chose chocolate candy bars of 6 different varieties and yes, snickers was one of them). I however did NOT let them go "trick or treating" seeing as they are 14 and 16..this didn't go over well, so I was glad that I had ok'd the purchase of several extra bags of candy..now all of the kids have treats here!
P.S. Patrick, didn't your parents let you play or something? (-;
If you can get through Bud, you can ring that bell all you want... Ba Humbug!
Patrick, I can see he's a teddybear. It's all over his face!
Yea Bud looks like he could be your best friend for a slice of cheese.
I know i'm way late for this post, but I just have to tell gbradley that I'm in love with Bud. Totally, completely, and utterly smitten by him!!!!!!
Who says putting up photos on the net is dangerous?
You're from CA. right? I'm gonna be in LA in a few weeks, I'd love to take Bud out on a doggie date if he would have me! lol
Bud is Patrick's dog.
If you ask nice, Patrick might let him meet you.
:) Yeah, that big goofy mut is mine. He is a big noise maker and if you ever threatened me, he would be a handful...Actually, you would be a mouthful, but all in all, he's a big puppy. Bring him a tennis ball and he would allow you to rob me blind.
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