Help Save the World, By Not Reading This Post

H/T: The Mayor

By the time you finish reading this paragraph, over 70 000 children will have died from malnutrition. By the time you finish reading this sentence in this paragraph, over 300 different types of animals in South America will become extinct. By the time you finish reading this word,over 33 000 people will have been diagnosed with Aids.

I ask you this...why are you still reading this, you viscous bastards, your reading abilities are obviously killing and infecting millions of people and animals throughout this world. You should be ashamed of yourself. Stop it! I am serious, STOP reading, you just wiped out another Ethiopian village you cruel prick.

Suddenly, my Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics class is coming in handy. I've killed 1.3 billion children already.