Subject to Change

One of my favorites.

I spent most of the day on KP.

Kelly’s aunt, uncle, and cousin came over for dinner, and I got to prepare my first full Christmas dinner. I made Cornish hens, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and a rum cake. Considering that I didn’t burn anything and only the mashed potatoes finished late, I’d call it a successful meal. Except for maybe the mashed potatoes, I’ve never tried to make any of these recipes before.

We put the hens in the fridge two days ago, but I still had to thaw them. Raw chicken is so unappetizing, just the smell is enough to make me want to gag. In the microwave, each of the four hens took half an hour to defrost.

Here’s a tip for anyone preparing a large meal: measure everything out first. You’re going to be shuffling things around constantly, and when you’re trying to time it all to finish together every task done in advance helps.

My best Christmas present arrived today.

I passed the PE exam.

Give them something they’re not supposed to have.  They’ll play with it by themselves for hours.

I find that kitchen knives are especially fascinating to small children.

(Don’t worry, the kid is fine. This blog was inspired by watching him play with my phone… AGAIN.)

I was just watching Dean’s Christmas tribute over that The Thoughtful Conservative, and something occured to me.

Do you think Dee Schnieder took a moment to think that he’d be wearing that wig and awful makeup for three decades (or longer)?

A lot of these rockers are family men by now. Weird, huh? Seeing Twisted Sister performing a Christmas song is a bit sad if you think about it. It’s like watching boys who can never grow up.

Kelly’s cousin has a boyfriend who lives on the north side. A few months ago, water started dripping into his apartment from upstairs. The water was getting into the upstairs apartment from the leaky roof. It just so happens that all the ceiling lamps are perfectly lined up, making it very easy for the water to find its way down. Kelly’s cousin started putting buckets in the upstairs apartment, because the door was unlocked, and called the building inspector.

The building inspector came out, but called the landlord first. Naturally, the landlord locked the apartment and failed to show up. The building inspector must have considered the case closed at that point, out of sight out of mind. I’m sure it was too much bother to file the paperwork needed to have the police open the door.

Kelly’s cousin called today and said that the water was leaking in again. This time the bed is soaked so badly it will need to be replaced and the water is getting into the next apartment down. On the Sunday before Christmas nobody is going to be answering phones for the building inspector. So, we told her to call the fire department. Water in an electrical fixture is an obvious fire hazard and a leaky roof is a structural problem. Sadly, nobody is in at the fire department either. The answering machine told her to call 911 instead.

This landlord has had two properties burn down already. I suggested that we ought to call 911 to give this issue the attention it needed. Instead, Kelly’s cousin called We Energies. They got the fire department on the phone. A truck showed up with sirens blaring, most likely causing the rest of the neighborhood to run for cover. The first truck called a second, to help break down the door to the apartment upstairs. They also called the building inspector, who should show up on Thursday or Friday.

So, now this scummy landlord has a few days to find himself a new door or fix the roof.

Merry Christmas, jerk-off.

What’s you favorite Christmas movie? Personally, I don’t really care for many of them, old or new.

I’d put Die Hard, A Christmas Story, and Planes Trains and Automobiles on my list.

Gays, Trains, and Automobiles

Update: I guess this is a Thanksgiving movie. Oh well.

A Christmas Gory

And, here’s a Die Hard tribute with some adult lyrics.

I think the ultimate problem with Die Hard 3 and 4 was that they forgot it was all about Christmas.

I found the F’ing short version of Die Hard while I was You Tubing. Send the kids away for this one!

Wandering around aimlessly on purpose can prevent you from wandering around aimlessly without purpose.

Why not make mine brand new Lexus?

Buy one for your kid, who just wrecked the station wagon.

Go ahead… Be one of those people. You make me sick.