Subject to Change

I’m a little late in saying this, and I still need to.

As a white male in my thirties I may not have a wealth of experience to draw from, but I do know what horse shit is.

Do those come with a massage and a mud mask? I was insulted by the term, until I realized that conservatives can take a page from this playbook.

From here on out, Iraq shall be refered to as a “therapeutic invasion.” It was necessary for the nation’s mental health.

DEBATE OVER!

…I’m not sure I could do a better job than Joe Biden.

But, I would like to try.

You can get an excited toddler to say anything!

“Cole, pick up your chainsaw and come in the house!!!”

My neighbors will be moving tomorrow, I imagine.

I had a sad moment when I made breakfast this morning. I realized that some day my toaster will probably be illegal, when the enviro-nazis finally get around to banning wide slots because they waste energy.

Until that day I’m going to try to enjoy as many toasted bagels as I can.

Co-Worker: Please don’t blog about this.

Me: You know, I’m blogging that quote.