Subject to Change

I would like to send you a DVD you might enjoy. It’s a classic film, about a family dog, named Old Yeller. I believe that this film may be inspirational to you in these trying times. You may find it especially relevant to the developments in Iran and North Korea.

You see, Yeller was a beloved family pet. He brought endless joy to the Coates family. Their lives were enriched by Old Yeller’s love. In a similar way, our lives may be enriched by the cultural experiences Iran and North Korea have to offer. Who doesn’t enjoy a nice Persian rug or dog meat taco now and then?

Unfortunately, Old Yeller falls to an incurable, infectious, and fatal disease. The disease will slowly rot Yeller’s brain and he will eventually turn on those who loved him. The Iranian and North Korean regimes are also rotting their host nations from the inside. Their disease could spread, if not properly contained.

In the movie the eldest boy, Travis, tries to hide Yeller’s illness from the rest of the family. He foolishly believes that the dog is somehow going to cure himself, or he hasn’t got the heart to admit that Yeller is doomed. His decision nearly kills the younger brother, Arliss. Arliss’ love for Yeller is so unconditional and trusting that he is willing to release the dog, even while it is foaming at the mouth and threating to attack. Hey, come to think of it, hasn’t North Korea threatened to attack something? Iran has, too, right?

In the end, do you know how the family deals with Old Yeller’s disease? They shoot the dog. The audience cries a tear and the movie ends with the offspring of Old Yeller romping happily in the meadow with Arliss.

Mr. Obama, put down the damn dog. Please!

Hugs and Kisses,

Aaron

P.S. I really would like to send you this DVD. I just need to ask you one question, so that we can avoid the type of embarrassing moment you had earlier this year: which region code is your DVD player set to?