Subject to Change

When not to take a phone call: while gloved and murdering someone. Just let it go to voicemail.

Charlie Sykes points out a bogus email that Barack Obama is a “closet Muslim.” Other reports put the Clinton smear machine behind the rumors. In any case, the next season of 24 is practically writing itself.

After nuking a major American city, or two or three by season’s end, how can the writers of 24 manage to up the ante and continue to deliver a weekly dose of “did they just go there?”

The answer is obvious now: a sleeper president! That’s right: life imitating art, imitating life, imitating something that resembles art when viewed from the proper angle.

24 has already delivered us television’s first two black presidents, one right after the other. Did I mention that they were brothers, too? They almost nuked us once before, let loose a bio-weapon in a major city, assassinated a president (the first black one, in case you missed that part), and finally planted a suitcase nuke in Los Angeles. They’re running out of ways to shock and surprise us. It’s far too early for Jack Bauer to turn evil. That would all but end the series for sure.

It’s time for the ultimate double-cross: Obama Bin Laden, the rock star president who’s secretly working for the enemy. Picture it, the entire season is one wild goose chase, right up to the final scene where Jack’s got his gun to the terrorist president’s temple.

It’s Brilliant!

I’ll admit, if I actually turn on an episode of 24 I tend to watch it. The show has all the action a short attention span requires. But, between episodes I can’t stand the show. I especially hate watching it on TV because of the way they play with your mind.

Every episode except the first and last two of the season seem to go nowhere. NOWHERE! They get you all excited, but after an hour of foreplay the show just wants to cuddle until next week.

Jack Bauer is the only character with any personality of his own. The rest of them seem to be cut with exactly the same cookie cutter. Look at them: not a single one follows orders, only one of them believes Jack, and each puts his or her personal problems above national security. Everyone in CTU is extremely bad-ass, unless they’ve got a friend or relative to think about. I mean, put a baby under Chloe’s desk and she’s completely useless. Of course, Chloe has basically been useless ever since there WAS a baby under her desk. If our intelligence agencies acted like this we’d have to lose a major building, or two, or three before anything got done.

And, what the hell is wrong with that director’s chair? Anyone who sits in that thing turns from Mother Teresa to Adolf Hitler overnight. Someone ought to check and see if the seat is mounted upside down or something. Why did the writers bother to kill off the first director of CTU if every one after him was going to be the exact same character?

Have you noticed the evolution of 24? In season 1 & 2 they we’re too afraid to use a Middle Eastern terrorist. Now, they do it every season. They were also afraid in season two that no one would find a nuclear explosion in one of our cities to be a plausible scenario. Now, they’ve nuked Los Angeles, apparently. I haven’t actually seen it yet because I was so fully engaged that I fell ASLEEP last night trying to watch the fourth episode. Now they’ve gone and set the bar too high. Next season there will be terroists on the moon.

There’s a real war on terrorism going on. Shouldn’t the American people find that a whole lot more engaging?